God is not delusional.

God is not delusional. Quite the revelation, right? But really, why am I telling you this? Well, I was driving alone in the car yesterday and worshipping very loudly (I'm sure I was quite a sight to behold) when I had this revelation. Now obviously I didn't consciously think that God is delusional, but I realized that when I consider that fact that we are blameless before God, I considered it like He's somehow seeing us wrong. Like, "Isn't it so great how God sees us as sinless when really we're all disgustingly drenched in it?" 

But I realize that we don't wear a mask before Him. He isn't seeing a false representation of who we are, He's seeing the real thing. I think this belief that God isn't seeing the real me actually causes me to shy away from Him in guilt and shame because if I believe He's seeing something false, I become fearful that He'll see the real me. But I can rejoice! Because it is I, not He, who sees a false representation. I have been made blameless by Jesus's death on the cross. God is not delusional. 

God is good

Today I was scrolling through facebook and saw someone's post about something awesome that had happened in their life. The post started out with the phrase, "God is good!" and they went on to explain what had happened. As I read this, I was taken back to my trip to Mexico in 2012. I remember that in the midst of the cold, wet, cold, long (or so it seemed), cold, trip, when I got an unexpectedly hot shower (I was expecting it to be cold), the words "Thank you, Jesus!" came out of my mouth more times than I could count. He then showed me that even though it's fine and good to praise Him when our hearts are overflowing with praise and thankfulness, but it is just as good and He is just as worthy when something not-so-great is happening. 

So as I sat here on Facebook pondering it all, God challenged me to start saying, "God is good," in times one might not normally think to. Of course, this doesn't have to be something reserved for times of extreme calamity, but it could be the little times, like when you're running late and you hit a red light. Or when you just finished cleaning and someone wrecks the house. God deserves our praise even when we are frustrated, upset, and flustered. 

Equally effective

Does God ever teach you through your own prayers? I was praying for a friend who's on a mission trip this morning when I prayed something for their team that was not from me! I stopped and pondered what I had just prayed, amazed! This was a revelation! 

I was praying for effectiveness in ministry, and praying against discouragement, should their natural eyes not see what progress they were making. My team in Australia struggled with this, as we had no salvations during our trip. The majority of our ministry was conversations about God and who He was, planting seeds in the college students of Brisbane. But it came to me to pray that they would know that the seed planters are just as effective as the harvesters. When I prayed it, I stopped to think about what I had just said. The seed planters are just as effective as the harvesters. I think a lot of times when we talk about planting a seed in a person, we basically think of it as a nice way of saying, "You didn't do all that much," or, "You didn't make any progress with that person, but someone else might later." 

Just think about a farm. Since I live in Indiana, I'm thinking of corn. Imagine two different farmers are working a single plot of land. One's job is to plant the seed, and the other harvests it at the end of the season. Let's say the first farmer observes other farmers planting seed, and, seeing no difference in the ground after the farmers plant their seed, decides not to plant any seed at all, saying to himself, "This is a waste of time. I'll just relax and let the other farmer harvest later." 

Why doesn't this scenario work? Because there HAS to be seed. The seed is that of which the harvest is composed! And the thing about the two farmers is this: if they both do their job, they are equally effective. If one skips out on his job, it is just as devestating to the crop as if the other did. 

To Know Him is to love Him

As I was worshipping one night at camp this past week, I looked around and contemplated the beauty of God as the noise of a hundred people praying for each other and worshipping filled my ears. Seeing everyone experience God so beautifully, my heart ached as I wondered how every year, I watch most of the kids go home and go back to living exactly how they had been before. The services are so life-changing, it causes some confusion as to how and the world anyone can experience this, go home, and act like it never happened. 

God revealed this to me: To know God is to love Him. He Himself is love. So if you know Him, you will love Him. You will love Him passionately because of who He is, and you now know who He is. Out of that love then springs obedience, because when you love someone, it is your greatest desire to live a life that pleases them. Then the obedience is not forced, but done with a willing and joyful heart, because you are pleasing the One you love. The ultimate problem here is not the lack of obedience. The greatest need is not to free people of bondage and addictions (though that is vital) or to teach them what things are sin and preach against them (although this must be done). The ultimate problem is that people are not seeking God. In Matthew 7:7, Jesus promises that he who seeks will find. When we find God, we will begin to know Him. When we know Him, we will love Him. When we love Him, we will obey Him. This is vital, because if we only pray for freedom of bondage and addictions, they may get free, but if they don't seek God and know Him, they will return to their bondage or find a new one. If we only preach against sin and teach what is sin, they will learn, but they will have no motivation to follow through, or will try in their own strength, fail, and give up.

We need to teach them how to seek God on their own, and when they find Him, they will start following Him. If we do this from a young age, we could watch and see even the need for freedom from bondage and addictions drop as the youth prevent the bondage from even happening by following Jesus. 

All I need is You

"All I need is You." I hear this a lot in worship songs, and it's a statement that I think often doesn't get a lot of thought. As Americans, we don't get a lot of chances to see if this rings true for us. Rarely, if ever, do we get to a point in life when we literally don't have anything but Him. Or even mostly nothing but Him. 99% of the time, we have everything and Him. We say "All I need is You," but we act as if we need everything else, too. 

Sometimes, God calls us to places where all we have is Him. It is then that the sincerity of our proclaiming, "All I need is You," is tested. Most of the time I think we either aren't listening for His voice calling us into situations that demand we rely completely on Him or we hear Him and pretend we didn't. This can come through material possessions or money, God calling us to give away large sums of money or give up our lush homes and excessive possessions so we can be in a better position to help others. But this doesn't always come through material things. Sometimes God calls us to a place that demands that He is our security mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. 

For example, God recently told me that I'm not to go to the Honor Academy. If you don't know me well, this might sound like a small thing. Let me tell you, this is no small thing.  I have been planning to go to the HA for 3 years now, and I've been fundraising for a year. I've raised somewhere between eleven and twelve thousand dollars to go. And now God, just out of the blue, tells me not to go. What?! Amidst all the craziness of having to re-adjust my thinking and having to tell everyone that I'm not going, God whispers. He says, "I AM your security. I AM your destination and your journey. I AM your abiding place, your safe refuge. The HA is not your security. You do not rest in knowing that you are going there. You rest in ME." 

All I need is Him. I don't need the "security" of knowing where I'm going. All I need is Him. 

Abba, let this ring true more every day.

I love the rain-but not really.

I recently saw a quote by Bob Marley that said, "You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella... So that's why I'm scared when you say you love me." As I sat in my grandparent's screened-in porch listening to the Florida downpour, I contemplated this quote. I love the rain. I love to listen to the gentle tapping on the roof, and I love to curl up with a book and some tea on a rainy day. But I use an umbrella. I try to avoid walking in the rain. I run through, laughing, trying to stay as dry as possible. Do I really love rain? I came to this conclusion: I may love rain, but mostly I love the idea of rain. I love the idea of a midsummer drenching, and of playing in puddles, and arriving home soaking wet, a large grin on my face. But the truth of the matter is that I only really love rain when it's convenient. I love rain when I'm inside to listen to or watch it, but when I'm forced to go walk in it, or stand in it, I may not be quite so happy to see a dark sky filled with heavy clouds. You see, it's very inconvenient to get drenched when you have somewhere to go or something to do. I don't always have the time to run outside during a rain shower and play in the puddles. Most of the time, rain is inconvenient to me. So I use an umbrella.

I got to thinking, do I love God the way I love rain? What if I mostly just love the idea of God, or the idea of obeying God? The idea of someone throwing their whole life away for the Gospel is utterly romantic. I swoon over the thought of giving everything to serve Jesus. My heart leaps in excitement at the thought of obeying Christ when it's hard, but that's just the thing: it's hard. It's inconvenient, and sometimes I just don't want to. I love the idea of going hard after Christ; I love the idea of obeying Him wholeheartedly without thought to my own wants, needs, or safety, but when it comes down to it, I think most of the time I only love the idea. At the moment that Jesus exposes something I must give to Him, or shows me something I need to do (or stop doing), I shut down. All those dreamy thoughts of the mystical wonder of obeying are now gone, and all I want is to do what makes me feel the most comfortable right now. 

Abba, give me heart that loves You, not just the idea of You, and that is willing to obey. Show me, like you showed Paul, what things I must suffer for Your Name, and give me a heart that is ready and willing to do those things. 

I love You. 

164.8 Million

The other day I saw a post on social media about a guy who won the lottery recently, a jackpot of 149 million dollars. The person who posted it made a comment about how lucky he is and how they wish they had that money. Can you imagine having that much money? It's almost unspendable. Even if you bought a 23 million dollar car (do those even exist?), that's not even a fourth of the whole amount. Who could possibly spend that amount of money? 

$149 million dollars is so much money, most of us could not even fathom the amount. If you have a $50,000 per year income, that's about 3,000 years of income. Three thousand years. 

Friends, the point I'm trying to make is this: even though we cannot even begin to fathom how much money 149 million dollars is, there are 164.8 million suffering or dying children in the world. If you had 149 million dollars, it would not even be enough to have one dollar for each child. Did you get that? Can you wrap your mind around that? Are you beginning to understand? Even at your very worst, when you are very sick or uncomfortable, you are SO much better off than any of these kids, and there are 164.8 million. Right now, 164.8 million real lives are suffering and dying. This is not a guilt trip, or a sad infomercial. This is reality. This is real life. The truth is that if you have a house, clean water, and food, you are among the world's wealthiest people. You cannot sit in your extreme luxury and ignore the millions who are hurting and call yourself a Christian. 

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

Katie Davis says:

"The truth is that the 143 million orphaned children and the 11 million who starve to death or die from preventable diseases and the 8.5 million who work as child slaves, prostitues, or under horrific working conditions and the 2.3 million who live with HIV add up to 164.8 million needy children. And though at first glance that looks like a big number, 2.1 billion people on this earth proclaim to be Christians. The truth is that if only 8 percent of the Christians would care for one more child, there would be no statistics left."  (Emphasis mine)

Now that I'm pretty sure I've given you a picture of the need, here's the solution: YOU. You, whether you want to believe it or not, are extremely, unbelievably wealthy. You literally have before you the choice to give life to hundreds of people or not to. It may seem easy to ignore them, but they are just as real as you, and they are just as human as you are. 

The thing with Satan is that he doesn't operate in extremes. He would never come to you with the idea of spending all your money on worthless things so you no longer have the ability to bring life to God's people. Instead, he convinces you one item at a time. Just this one coffee, this one concert, this one soda, this one pair of shoes, until suddenly the offering plate is being passed and you have no money. One coffee becomes a caffeine addiction, one concert becomes an obsession, one soda becomes a frequent craving, and one pair of shoes leads to another. Soon, our entire budget is nothing but indulgences, and we can't even see anything wrong with it. 

 

It's time to stop. This is real. In the The Hunger Games series, there's two kinds of people: the poor, oppressed, starving, dying districts, and the fashion-obsessed, wealthy, extravagant, uncaring, and oblivious Capitol. Even though the heroine is a part of the districts and everyone wants to identify with her, does this situation not sound like first world and third world countries? Should we not more identify with the Capitol, who could care less about the districts as long as they have their entertainment, lush homes, extravagant food, and high fashion, even if it costs the districts in order for them to have it? 

If you want some real perspective on this issue, I suggest you read The Hunger Games books. While I'm not sure that this is what the author was trying to portray, she did an excellent job of it. 

The point of this long post is to call you to action. I encourage you to question every purchase you make. Is it wrong to buy things for pleasure? No. But the real question is, is it okay to make a habit of buying things only for pleasure when so many people die every day without experiencing Jesus's love?

Why this lack of faith?

Last night I stayed up way later than I should have drawing a picture. The amazing thing is, I never really draw. I'm not very good at it, so most attempts are met with frustration. But a couple weeks ago, I got an idea for a drawing, and last night I decided to attempt it. To my utter surprise, it actually turned out alright (I was ecstatic). This morning while worshipping, God gave me a blog post to go along with it! He is crazy good, is He not?!

Luke 8:22-25 is the story of Jesus calming the storm: 

"One day Jesus said to his disciples, 'Let's go over to the other side of the lake.' So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, 'Master, Master, we're going to drown!' He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. 'Where is your faith?' he asked his disciples."

I'd like to point out something specific about this passage. Jesus would have been perfectly fine just sleeping through the storm all the way to the other side of the lake. The disciples, however, were not okay with that. They thought they were going to drown. Jesus said at the beginning, "Let's go over to the other side of the lake." By saying this, he implied that they were actually going to get to the other side. He's Jesus; He's God. He wasn't surprised by the storm. Not even a little bit. He knew it was going to happen. 

A lot of people, I think, use this passage to illustrate the fact that Jesus can calm storms. And this is true. He can, and sometimes He does. But from my small amount of experience in life, most of the time, He doesn't. Now before you all scream heresy and stone me, let me explain. First of all, if you haven't read my posts about trials and suffering, do so. This is a HUGE reason I believe Jesus doesn't always calm storms. Because He knows that we will make it through the storm with His help, and that this trial with actually draw us closer to Him, He lets the storm rage. Notice also, that when the disciples woke Him, He called them out on their lack of faith. Sometimes, when we call out to God in the midst of a storm, expecting Him to calm it, I think He calls us out on our lack of faith. Did He not say not to fear? Did He not say that He would carry us through? Why, then, this lack of faith? God knew this storm would come. It did not surprise Him, and it is not beyond His control. He will carry us through. Do not fear. 

This is the drawing I did last night: (the writing at the bottom says, "She did not fear the storm before her, for she was a lioness, a daughter of the Lion of the Tribe of Judah.")

Not the answer I was expecting

I came to God today stressed out by the next two weeks I have coming up. I just sat and said, "God, I can't do this by myself. This is crazy. I need You." And it was instantaneously that God replied, "You asked to need Me. Here you go." I just smiled and laughed. He is so good!

For the past couple of weeks I have been writing blog posts about trials and how they make us need and want God more and how they're so great for us, and on top of that, I have been asking God to help me need Him more. A lot of the time I feel so complacent towards God and I feel like I don't really need Him. My life is usually slow-going. Usually, my struggle is not finding time to spend with God, it's finding the desire to. I hate it, but it's the truth. So the past couple weeks I've been asking God to give me a need for Him. Then He plops all this in my lap and I freak out! I can only laugh at my foolishness.

God's answers to prayer are not always what I think they will be! Sometimes, they stretch me. Sometimes, they make me want to cry (like today looking at my coming weeks). But they always draw me to God and bring Him glory. And that is beautiful.

The Condition of My Heart

God is primarily concerned with our hearts. God does have a lot to say about works, but usually it is because our works directly display the conditions of our hearts. At the beginning of the year, God told me to give half of my money after tithe to Him. (You can read about it here: http://asongofstruggle.blogspot.com/2014/01/how-many-times-have-i-come-across.html) I have loved doing this. It's given me so much freedom to give to so many people, and I love finding new opportunities to bless people. Yes, sometimes it hurts a little when I only see $9 of a $20 paycheck, but overall, it has been SO rewarding. But here's the catch: it has started to be a little routine. It's been four months, so I've just started thinking of a $20 paycheck as a $9 paycheck. It's stopped feeling like giving. Like I said, God is concerned with the condition of our hearts more than anything. He still wants my heart. He doesn't want it to be a routine.


A couple of weeks ago, God told me to give away my savings for a bicycle. I'm saving up for a bicycle so I have some form of transportation wile I'm at the Honor Academy, and my goal amount is about $100. I had gotten up to about $90, and God told me to give it away. I must admit I was hesitant. I mean, that $90 was only a small part of $200. (If I had $90 for myself, that means there was $90 that I gave and $20 that was tithe.) I mean, come on, God, I've already given $110. It's not like this is something I don't need. This is for my internship. But God is concerned with my heart. And if He can't trust me to give whenever He says, what does that say about the condition of my heart, regardless of what else I'm doing for Him? And you know what? I have not once regretted the decision to give away that $90. God knows what He's doing.


Jesus, help me to obey you. Help my heart be inclined to do what You want, regardless of what I think. I love You.

Intimate Love

John 20:16 

"Jesus said to her, 'Mary.'" 

This verse struck me today... what an intimate love!  Mary mistook her Risen Saviour for the gardener, and instead of being harsh, He says her name. Simply, "Mary."  I can almost hear His gentle voice, beckoning to her heart... this is my Jesus. This is my Beloved. 

I guess this verse resonates with me so much because I have found myself in the same position as Mary many, many times. I mistake Jesus for a different person entirely, supposing or assuming that He holds me to a perfect standard, subconsciously thinking that He expects much of me, that He is disappointed in me when I fail. I mistake Him for a harsh, cold, and calculating Jesus, when really He is forgiving, merciful, graceful, and above all, unconditionally loving. So many times I am ridden with guilt and shame, disappointed in myself for failing again, anticipating His wrath, when He calls to me. Just my name. "Faith." So much love and intimacy in just one word. 

He loves me. He really, really, loves me. He is not the gardener, nor is He a harsh God. He is not who I sometimes assume Him to be. He is intimate. He is my Jesus, and He died for me. 

The Bible inside your head

Chances are, you've heard the saying, "You may be the only Bible some people ever read." It's a very true statement that should be given much thought and acted upon, but I thought of it in a new light the other day. The sentiment that the saying is trying to get across is that the way you act may very well be the only Christianity some people ever experience, and the words that come out of your mouth may be the only chance some people have to hear God's Word. That's true, and something we should all keep in mind, but here's something else for you to think about:

What if you were literally the only Bible to which you and the people around you had access? What if Bibles were illegal? What if what verses and passages you have memorized right now were the only ones to which you had access until someone smuggled a Bible your way? This may sound extreme and far-off to you, but I believe that the end times are coming. The four blood moons that are happening in the next year and a half have me thinking about Revelation and the end times a lot, and whether or not you think it's coming soon, we need to be ready, because the truth is, it doesn't matter if we think it's soon or not. Jesus said that no one would know the day or hour, so it could be tomorrow for all we know. 

I believe that there is coming a time when Christianity will be severely persecuted and maybe even illegal worldwide. What if Bibles became illegal? I am, along with one of my friends, memorizing the book of Philippians. This way, if I ever travel to a country in which Christianity is illegal, I won't have to try to smuggle a physical copy of the Word with me. I will have it in my head. This way, if Christianty becomes illegal here in the states or even worldwide, I will have an entire book of the Bible with me at all times that no authority can take away. 

I urge you to memorize scripture. It doesn't have to be an entire book, but it is vital that you be prepared and have the Word in your heart and mind if or when a time comes when men try to take it away from you. 

Why I don't pray for trials to cease

God has been challenging me lately in my prayer life. Ever since my trip to Baja in 2012/13, I've had a deeper understanding of how difficulties in this life bring us ever closer to God, how He uses them to teach us more than in any other circumstance in life, how they remind us that this is most definitely not our final destination, how they expose our need for God, and how His will is often accomplished through hard times. But now He is teaching me to apply this knowledge to my prayer life.


 It's often easy to pray for the very best in life for our loved ones. It's easy to pray that all their troubles will go away and that their lives will be all but perfect. It's easy to pray that nothing bad will happen to them and that they will never fail. But I can't pray like that anymore. After all I've learned about and experienced in the way of trials and suffering (see last post: http://asongofstruggle.blogspot.com/2014/03/im-about-to-say-something-crazy.html), I can't pray that my loved ones will be relieved of their troubles or that they won't experience them down the road. As Americans, the concept of not praying for absolute comfort and safety is foreign, and it almost sounds hateful, or at the least, unloving. But Jesus never once, not one time in the 33 years He lived on the earth, promised safety or comfort. Instead, He said the exact opposite. He promised persecution, trials, and hate. He didn't promise He would immediately remove us from any hardship as soon as we ask, but He did say He would always be with us.


As hard as it is to believe, praying for the absolute comfort and safety of others just might be equivalent to praying for a stagnant relationship with God and an attachment to the world. So next time you kneel to pray for someone experiencing hardship, or even yourself, rethink your prayers. Instead of praying that their situation would do a 180, pray that they would learn more about God, see their need for Him more, be reminded that this is not their home, and that this situation would be used to bring God glory and accomplish His will. That sounds a whole lot better than just praying for them to be comfortable.

I'm about to say something crazy..

I've been reading in Philippians, 1 Peter, and James a lot recently, and together that makes for a lot of reading about trials and suffering. I felt led to share what I've been learning:


Thoughts on suffering:


1. Through perseverance, trials and suffering make us mature and complete. (James 1:2-4 // Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its perfect work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.)


2. To suffer trials proves our faith to be genuine and results in praise, honor, and glory for God. (1 Peter 1:6-7 // In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that you faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus is revealed.)


3. Paul's trials resulted in encouragement for other believers to speak more boldly of Christ, so more people heard of Christ. (Philippians 1:12-14 // Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the Gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the Word of God more courageously and fearlessly.)


4. Suffering kills the desire for sin and increases the desire for God. (1 Peter 4:1-2 // Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. As a result, he does not life for the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.)


5. If you suffer for what is right, you are blessed. (1 Peter 3:14 // But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. )


Call me crazy, but I actually think America could use a few trials, or go through some suffering. All these things sound like things the American church desperately need (besides maybe the need to be blessed.. we're pretty blessed as it is). Just think of underground churches like the Chinese church, who all seem to be so much more genuine and passionate than the American church. Call me crazy, but I think it's because of the suffering they are enduring. Call me crazy, but I think we could all use a little suffering, or maybe even a lot of suffering.


Suffering is hard. But when we suffer, we are still expected to be Christlike. Here's what the Bible says about how we should act when we're suffering and going through trials.


1. We are to rejoice in our sufferings and praise God. (1 Peter 4:13 // But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. // James 1:2 // Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds...)


2. We are to have the same attitude as Christ (1 Peter 4:1 // Therefore, since Christ suffered in His body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin.), entrusting ourselves to God and not retaliating against anyone who might be persecuting us (1 Peter 2:23 // When they hurled their insults at Him, He did not retaliate; when He suffered, he made no threats instead, he entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly.)


3. We are to be committed to God even in trials and continue to do good even when facing suffering and hardships (1 Peter 4:19 // So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.)


4. Whatever happens,  we must conduct ourselves in a manner worthy of Christ. (Philippians 1:27 // Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.)

Immeasurable

1 Peter 1:17-19
"Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear. For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect."


There is so much in this passage that we could talk about, but I want to narrow it down to one point. I've mentioned in a previous post that the most probable reason unbelievers don't respect God and Christianity in general is because we don't. We say we serve a great, almighty, all-worthy, omnipotent, glorious God, but then treat Him like He's none of those things. We use His name in vain as often as those who don't even believe He exists, we disobey Him, and treat His people and His house as if they are worth nothing. No wonder people aren't willing to believe what we say! We hardly act like we do!


This passage points out something worth mentioning. Here it says to live as strangers here on earth, because we were not redeemed with something of measurable value, but with something of immeasurable value: the precious blood of Christ. The wild thing about God is He's immeasurable. You can't properly describe how big He is because everything to which we compare Him is measurable. I can say that a million suns times a thousand million is like a grain of sand next to the sun (the sun being God), but that isn't accurate because if you multiply that grain of sand enough times, it would eventually get to be the size of the sun. You can even rightly compare something measurable to something that's not. In the same way that God is immeasurably big, He's immeasurably perfect and worthy.


For He who is immeasurably perfect and worthy to die for us is huge. Huge. Like, we can't even begin to fathom how big that is. He is SO worthy, SO holy, SO perfect, that nothing we use to describe Him can even come close to coming close to being accurate. He died for us. His blood, SO precious, so much more valuable than anything measurable could ever come close to, was poured out for us.


We treat His blood like that kind of sacrifice is a thing mundane and earthly. We treat it like it's silver or gold. Here on earth those things are worth a lot, but when you consider that at the end of time, when everything physical passes away, that gold will simply pass way like everything else, it's worth nothing. In view of eternity, we need to start treating His sacrifice like it's immeasurable. We weren't redeemed by anything so mundane as gold or silver, but with the precious blood of the Lamb, and it's time we started acting like it.

Like an athlete or like an elephant?

God is able.


What does that mean? Or to be more articulate, what image or belief does that phrase draw up in us when we hear it? I think sometimes our faith may be enough, but it isn't very big. After all, Jesus said that we need only faith the size of a mustard seed to move mountains (Matthew 17:20). But I think our faith sometimes imagines God as just barely able. We say that God is able, but we say it like it's going to be a difficult process, and that there's a chance, however small, that He might fail.


For instance, we imagine God more like an athlete in a competition than an elephant lifting a peanut. Let me explain. When you go to watch your favorite sports team, usually you go with some confidence that they will win. After all, your team is the best team, right? So you go with confidence that they will win, but throughout the game, you're on the edge of your seat, sweating and biting your nails, emotions running wild while you wait to see who will win. Because while you "know" that your team is going to win, you also know that there's a chance that they won't, and that makes you nervous. Now when we go to the zoo and see the elephants, and one goes to pick up a peanut and eat it, we don't gasp and lean in, waiting in nervous anticipation to see if the elephant can, in fact, lift the peanut.  No, that would be really weird, and I'm sure we would get some stares. When an elephant at the zoo goes to pick up a peanut, we watch in relaxation, knowing that the elephant has way more than enough strength to do so.


What if we had faith like that? What if we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God would do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20)? What if, since our faith is the measure to which God's power will be displayed, we dared to imagine God as truly omnipotent, and asked for the impossible on a daily basis? What would our world look like?


I say we find out.

On Modesty & Swimsuits

I know it's a little early in the season for this, but I know that people will be buying swimsuits soon in anticipation of spring and summer. I also know for a fact that I will step on some toes with this one. Actually, most of the people on my friends list on Facebook will probably be offended. But I feel strongly enough about this issue to speak up anyways.


First, I'd like to establish why modesty is important in the first place. If you don't agree that modesty is important, this whole post will be nonsense to you. Modesty is important for many reasons, but I'll narrow it down to three.


1. Dress modestly out of respect for God. He made you, and He loves you. He values you enough to pay the highest price possible for you. He deserves nothing but your utmost respect and honor. You honor Him with your body by choosing not to expose what would disregard the value He places on you or cause another one of His precious and invaluable children to stumble.


2. Dress modestly out of respect for yourself. As previously stated, the Creator of the Universe says that you are immensely and immeasurably valuable. To give to all freely what should be held sacred (the right to look at your body) is to dishonor the high price paid for the thing being given. Imagine a priceless pearl bought with a man's entire life savings. Then imagine him throwing the pearl out into his pigpen. Who wouldn't scream in frustration?? When you know the price paid for an item, you become distressed when the item is treated as trash. (Matthew 13:45-46: You are the precious pearl! Matthew 7:6: Don't throw pearls to the pigs. See the connection?)


3. Dress modestly out of respect for other believers. Jesus not only paid a costly and high price for you, He paid that same price for every human being that lives, has lived, and will live. Every single one of us is invaluable to Him, and every one deserves the same respect. So at the same time that you need to respect God and yourself by the way that you dress, you need to respect the other believers around you. Your dress doesn't only affect you; it affects those around you. The Christian young men in your life should be straining towards purity and training themselves to look away when someone wearing less than appropriate clothing walks by. Believe me when I say that they do NOT need any more temptation than what they already face. You as a Christian have the responsibility to try and protect them by dressing in ways that do not in any way tempt them to look at you in a lustful manner. They don't appreciate it when a woman who follows Christ makes it hard for them to do the same. You also have the responsibility to protect young girls from thinking that dressing immodestly is okay. Do you remember being a young child? Do you remember how much they look up to teenagers? They do. A lot. They mimic us as often as possible. I can almost guarantee that there's a young person in your life that looks up to you, and Jesus made it pretty clear that leading a child into sin is not a desirable situation. (Matthew 18:6)


On swimsuits, one thing can be said for sure: bikinis are not modest, in any way, ever. Period. I firmly believe that women do not have any right to say what is modest and what is not. Why? Because we can't see through a guy's eyes. We could say all we want about what is modest and what is not, but at the end of the day, if it causes a guy to stumble, it's not modest. We can't know what's modest because we don't know what makes it difficult for them to avert their eyes. I strongly recommend that every girl have a Christian guy friend who will be completely honest and straightforward to tell her if her clothes are modest or not. So, it is not on my own authority that I say this. Here's what my 18 year old brother has to say about it:


"It's not fair. Girls, I really don't believe you understand what it's like to have the hormones that a guy has, and to then have sex thrown at you from every angle of life. As men, we are constantly having to turn our eyes. ALL the time. I understand that it's our duty as men to be strong and courageous, but imagine the bullet coming not only from the enemy, but also the teammate. Imagine the sheer shock. Things like "I thought you cared about me" and "Did my life not matter to you?" And "Whose side are you on?" would go through your head. Let's change that up. "Does my innocence not matter to you?" "I thought you cared about my purity?" "Don't you know who's side you're on?" Ladies, it is extremely hard. And it's one thing to have to turn your head from someone who isn't a Christian, but having to turn your head from a Christian is like dodging a bullet fired from a teammate. This stuff matters. What if I told you that ONE wrong thought in a guy's mind can be enough to get him to look at porn. One thought can do it. It's downhill from there. Exposing yourself by wearing a bikini can not only cause a man to think about things he shouldn't, but it can also make him think things he shouldn't about you. Now don't freak out. Yes, there are times where a man may think awful thoughts about you. But, wearing a bikini has become so normal that most guys don't think twice about it. Seeing that skin doesn't mean anything to them anymore. Just another naked girl. Most guys wouldn't say that they devalue girls when they see them in a bikini. But, what you don't understand, is that boy is looking upon a body that probably isn't meant for him, he's not looking away, he doesn't care about the fact that your and his innocence is gone, and all he sees is just another body. And that is a VERY wrong thought about you! Because your body was made for ONE person and ONE person alone. And you are worth FAR more than the way your body is treated when you dress immodestly. Bikinis are not in any way, shape, or form modest. One last thing: Like I said, boys doesn't think twice about a girl wearing a bikini. It's so normal. But I will tell you this: From a Christian guy's perspective, when a girl respects herself enough to dress modestly at the beach, he almost never forgets that about you."


So there you have it. Do you really need another reason not to wear a bikini? Here's a video about the history of the bikini and what looking at a woman in a bikini actually does to a guy's mind psychologically:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJVHRJbgLz8


Jessica Rey, who spoke in the video, has her own swimsuit line of cute and modest swimwear. It can be found at http://www.reyswimwear.com/, and I strongly recommend you look at their adorable suits! Here's a few:

Fashion doesn't have to be compromised to be modest!


Thank you so much for reading this ridiculously long post! You can find my brother's blog at http://wretchedyetdivine.blogspot.com/

Build Your Kingdom Here

Rend Collective Experiment has a song called Build Your Kingdom Here (which I listen to on a daily basis because it's my jam), and I've been doing some thinking on the lyrics. I thought of a scenario where a church was wanting to remodel their building to make room for a new youth room or office or children's ministry room or whatever. They call a contractor and discuss where they want the room and how big it should be, the cost, etc. The contractor and the church agree, and the next day the contractor shows up with his workers and starts tearing down walls and ripping up floors, removing pillars and building new walls, when the pastor runs in and screams at them to stop immediately. "What do you think you're doing? This is my church! I asked you to build a new room, not mess up my church! Look at this wreck! How are we going to have service on Sunday? What will people think?"


The contractor and workers stare. I bet you can imagine what they're thinking. You can't build anything without changing things a little. They were tearing down walls and ripping up floors so they could make room for the new space. It wouldn't be possible to build the new room without making changes.


Now take yourself out of the scenario, and put yourself in your own life. I see a church that says to God, "Build Your Kingdom Here!" but then freaks out whenever He tries to make changes. I have seen it in my own life more times than I care to remember. I ask Him to be my entire life, to manifest Himself in my life and establish His kingdom on earth through me, but when He starts to make changes in me to do just that, I kick and scream and protest. "What are you doing?!? I like that sin! It's too hard and uncomfortable to give it up!" I ignore that He has to make changes in order to build anything. I ignore that any change inevitably makes a little bit of a mess before things start to get better. But in the end, it's worth it. He's worth it. He is always worth it.

The man & the treasure; the merchant & the pearl

I read Matthew 13:44-46 in a whole new light the other day. It's the parables of the hidden treasure and the pearl, and it reads:


44 The Kingdom of God is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. 45 Again, the Kingdom of God is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. 46 When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had, and bought it.


I've always just read these two parables as basically saying the same thing two different ways. We're to pursue God and give everything for Him like a man who found a treasure in a field. We're to seek God and give everything for Him like a merchant who's found a precious and valuable pearl.


God has recently been teaching me about our relationship with Him as represented by the Bride and the Bridegroom. The great romance. God seeking us, cherishing us, pursuing us, loving us passionately, and our response: seeking Him, cherishing Him, pursuing Him, loving Him passionately. It's a big love story. We both just throw ourselves into each other's arms. The love is tangible.


So when I read these parables again, I noticed something I had never noticed before. Verse 44 compares the Kingdom of God to the treasure. This implies, in the context of the parable, that we are to pursue God like a man who finds the treasure in the field and gives everything to get it. But verse 45 compares the Kingdom of God to the merchant. Do you understand what this means? It means He's the merchant who found us, the pearl of great worth, and gave everything to get us!! Just like we seek Him with everything, He seeks us with everything!


My heart can hardly bear the weight of this. He finds me to be a fine pearl of great worth! It's all a big love story! The church, madly in love with God, and God, madly in love with His church, His bride.

How the enemy works like communism

Yesterday I watched a movie called Red Dawn. It's a remake of an 80's movie with the same title, and it was a really good movie. It had a little too much language for me, so I wouldn't watch it again, but a very good movie nonetheless. In the movie, international tensions are rising as North Korea continually attacks various nations. The story follows two brothers, one a former marine and the other a high school student, who are caught in the middle of it all when a North Korean attack on America invades their town. The brothers escape to the woods with a few friends, but the North Koreans take control of the town and set up a dictatorship-type government. Throughout the movie, the brothers and their friends continually set up small attacks on the North Koreans, then escape back to the woods, creating an irritating disturbance for the Koreans and rousing the Americans caught in the town to action, while the Koreans try to convince everyone that they're here for the Americans' good. It's a movie that definitely makes one feel patriotic! At the end of the movie, I thought, "That was a great movie, but it doesn't really happen that way." I wasn't referring to the unlikelihood of them surviving in the woods with thousands of North Koreans nearby, or the unexplained fact that they had to have food for all that time (where did that come from?). I was referring to communism.


Yes, sometimes communists invade a country with guns blaring, bombs exploding, and men controlling. But if you've ever studied communism, like I did last year in government class, you know that most of the time communists don't operate that way. They come in as one of our own. An American citizen rises to government, promising wonderful change, new jobs, a fixed economy, etc. From there, they gradually wean the people off their dependency on themselves to dependency on the government through law changes. When the people are willingly depending on the government, to shift is made from a free country to a country under what is called socialism, which is the step under communism. Once the country has accepted socialism and is completely dependent on the government, the government seizes all control, and becomes a Communist state. The people are then so dependent on the government, they cannot rise up to fight the government. They have trapped themselves.


Why do communists do it this way? For the very reason as displayed in the movie Red Dawn. When governments try to seize control of  country that has all of its freedoms, we recognize that they're taking our freedoms and fight back. However, when it comes slowly, when they convince us that what they're doing is a good thing, when they wean us off dependency on ourselves, we rarely see the shift until it's too late.


Why did I just talk about all that? Because Satan is the exact same way. He doesn't come to a strong follower of Christ and say "Hey! Why don't you do drugs/get drunk/have sex outside of marriage/commit adultery/etc,' because the immediate answer would be a resounding "NO!" He comes slowly, distracting us until our quiet time gets ignored all day, or convincing us a tiny little cuss word in a song is okay, or telling us its okay to be disrespectful to our parents behind their back just this once because it's justified this time. He weans us off our righteousness, one compromise at a time.


An example of this would be a time I was reading a book I had gotten from the library, and I was about a hundred pages into it (about a forth of the way in) when BAM! F-bomb. I set the book down in shock. I was not expecting that! But now, I was faced with a choice. Put the book down and move on to the next, or continue reading. It was only one word. There was a high probability that there was no more in the rest of the book, and I was already past that one. I sat there, undecided, until I had a thought straight from God. "I can either lower my standards and keep reading or uphold them and stop."  I had not seen it that way until then. We rarely do when faced with such choices. See, if it was okay with that book, what keeps it from being okay in the next? Or if it's okay once when it wasn't before, what keeps it from being okay two times, or three, or four?


Satan doesn't come in asking us to make huge, life-altering choices right off the bat. He slowly weans us off righteousness until everything is questionable, every moral thrown up for grabs. Because if one thing that was wrong before is now right, what keeps the next thing from becoming okay too?

Be lifted high

I've noticed lately that there are a LOT of recent worship songs that mention or revolve around some variation of the phrases "We lift up Your Name" or "Be lifted high" or "We lift You up." I've given it some thought, and, contrary to what I thought as a kid growing up in the church, we don't lift Him up by raising our hands. We are not singing about physically raising Him higher in the sky. When we sing about lifting up Him or His Name, we are referring to holding Him higher in our lives through reverence. We are stating that in our decisions, speech, and thought, He will be held in the highest regard.


Have you ever considered that unbelievers don't respect God and Christianity because we Christians don't? We sing songs that say that we lift His Name up, but we take His name in vain so flippantly as if to say it doesn't matter. We sing songs that say that we lift Him up, but we'd rather do what we want than obey Him. We sing songs that implore Him to be lifted up, but we refuse to lift His opinion (which, by the way, is truth) higher than what is politically correct or socially acceptable. We say over and over and over and over that we want Him to be lifted up, but we constantly make choices that act as if what He says about life is the lowest of our priorities.


Wake up, church, and start doing what you sing about. Hold the Lord in the highest regard. Lift Him up in your actions and not just the songs you sing.

This changes nothing.

{This post concerns information found in another post, which can be found at http://honoracademyadventure.blogspot.com/2014/02/big-news-about-honor-academy.html}


My eyes widened. My pulse quickened. I started to fidget as I looked for more information, disbelieving.


"The Honor Academy is MOVING?!?!?"


There it was. I had seen a post on facebook from a Teen Mania friend, and gone to the Honor Academy's website to see for myself. There it was, just sitting there on the screen like it wasn't rocking some sixteen year old girl's world in Lafayette, Indiana. The Honor Academy is selling its campus and moving to Dallas. Just like that. Surprise!


The first day after I found out, I had next to no information. Basically all I knew was that they are moving. I remember that some of my first thoughts were, "This changes everything. This is crazy. Am I even supposed to be going still? Does God still want me there?" And I also remember God replying so quickly, just like that: "I knew this was going to happen from the moment that I called you to go. I knew this was going to happen the day you took your first breath. I knew this was going to happen when I set the very foundations of the earth, and even before that, unto the endless eons before time existed. This is not news to me. This is not unexpected. This changes nothing. You are still to go. Trust me."


Woah. He is so amazing! His peace has so engulfed me since then, I cannot help but trust Him. He really, really knows what He's doing, which is more than can be said about any of us. He knows that this will be best for me, and I trust Him. I'm taking this whole crazy season one adventure at a time, doing my best to delight in each wild bump in the road that throws me deeper into His everlasting embrace.

You knew I was coming

I had a dream last night that I think deserves some consideration. In the dream, I was at my friend Keliann's house, and I had spent the night there. I woke up in the morning and was just hanging around, being lazy and doing whatever it is that we teenage girls do at sleepovers. I knew my dad was coming to pick me up at some point, but I didn't really know when. I was in their kitchen when my dad walked in the side door, ready to pick me up. I was unshowered, in my pajamas, by no means ready to leave and go out... wherever we were going. "Let's go," he said, and my response was "I'm not ready! I have to go change and put my contacts in and throw my hair up!" What he said next was what made the dream really remarkable. "You knew I was coming at some point. Why didn't you get ready?" I then proceeded to get ready and we left, but I remember waking from the dream and sitting up, and I immediately thought, "I wonder if that's how it will be when Jesus comes." I was hardly awake. I never really have any coherent thoughts just after waking up, so the fact that I immediately had a clear thought like that alerts my attention. God's trying to say something.


This post is not for the unsaved. Yes, if you're not saved, by all means, get to know Jesus. He's amazing beyond compare. But I want to speak to the Christians reading this. You're already saved, but are you ready? When He comes, will He find you in your spiritual pajamas, not having ever bothered to clean yourself up? Sure, you're saved, but are you prepared for eternity? You know He's coming at some point, so why aren't you getting ready?


The world is getting darker, friends. It's time to seek Him like never before.
People, get ready. The King is coming.

A speck of dust

I had a revelation of God's goodness while listening to some worship the other day. It absolutely blew my mind. I think (but I'm not sure) that I was listening to Your Glory by All Sons & Daughters. It came out of nowhere: "Even if you were to combine all the darkness in the whole world; condense it all, all the rape and violence and murders and shootings and immorality and hate and anger and evil and hopelessness; all of it, past, present, and future, and compared it to God's goodness, it would be as if you were comparing a speck of dust to a sun a million times bigger than ours." Everything, all the evil, in the world, all the hurt, everything, cannot even compare to Him. He is so much bigger. He is greater than anything we face. He is the constant Rock, the one who holds us all together. He has not forgotten us. He is patient, waiting for the time when He will make His Glory evident to all.


Romans 8:18
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

No regrets

I recently remembered something that happened on my mission trip to Australia in 2012, and God is using it to challenge me. It's rare that I remember something that I had forgotten about a trip that happened such a while back, but today I remembered that on my 15th birthday, near the end of our time in Australia, our team leaders asked us what we desired out of the rest of the trip, and I remember saying that I wanted no regrets. I didn't want to look back and say that there was a person that I could have talked to but didn't; that there was someone I was supposed to pray for but I chickened out. I didn't want to pass up a single moment, a single opportunity, a single thing that God had for me to do on the trip.


Sadly, I failed. I didn't talk to everyone that I had the ability to talk to. I didn't pray over every person I was supposed to. I failed, like I so often do. But now God has brought this desire back to mind. He has challenged me to actually live like this. He is daring me to see what life would be like if I didn't hold back anything, ever. That's a scary thing. To step out and just do whatever He says without hesitation is scary. It takes a lot of courage and sacrifice. There's a reason Christ told us to die to ourselves; we don't want to do the scary stuff He asks us to do! I have to die to myself to even consider what He says sometimes.


But now let's step back and look at the bigger picture. What would the world look like as a whole if we all lived this way? Even as I write this, He is bringing to mind things I could do that I really don't want to do. To be honest, it's making me uncomfortable. But that's okay. He's showing me more every day how my life really is an adventure like the ones I've always read about, and bringing to mind all the time how none of those exciting adventures were ever particularly comfortable for the adventurer.


Ephesians 5:15-16 (emphasis mine)
 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

Not a lukewarm God

In Revelation 3, God addresses lukewarmness in the church of Laodicea. Verses 15-16 say "I know your works. You are neither cold with apathy nor hot with passion. It would be better if you were one or the other, but you are neither.  So because you are lukewarm, neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth."  Lukewarmness is a heart issue. It's tricky and hard to recognize, even in yourself, because the works are still there.  You can be doing every single good work available for you to do, and still be lukewarm if your heart is indifferent.


God has been convicting me of lukewarmness in my own heart, and it's heart-wrenching. "What?????? Me??? I'm not lukewarm! Jesus, I do so much for You! I love You so much, how could I possibly be lukewarm???" But He brings to remembrance how my mind wanders during worship, even while passionately belting the songs with arms lifted, how my quiet times can tend to be merely motions, my heart and mind elsewhere. The works are still there, quiet time and everything. The heart alone is indifferent, but it's what He cares about. He passionately in love with me, and He longs for my heart to incline towards Him.


God asks us to love like He does. So, if lukewarmness is a heart issue; if He wants us to love Him with our hearts, what does that say about Him? It means that He is not a lukewarm God! It means He doesn't just do stuff for us because He feels obligated; He doesn't do stuff for us while His heart is elsewhere, not caring one way or the other. It means that behind every little thing He does for us is a heart exploding with passionate love! It means He really, really loves us! It even says at the end of the letter to the church at Laodicea that He is warning them of their lukewarmness because of His great love! (verse 19)


He isn't waiting impatiently for us to stop being so lukewarm, annoyed that our hearts turned elsewhere yet again, He's bursting with anticipation for the moment that our hearts turn to Him. He's waiting with a bucket of lovingkindness, ready to drench us the moment we seek His face.

My sickening selfishness

How many times have I come across an opportunity to give, and passed it by because I "didn't have enough money"?  How many times have I wanted to help with a worthy cause, being moved by pictures of small children holding their protruding bellies or sick people with no medicine but didn't do anything about it because "I don't have money"? That being said, of those times that I passed an opportunity by, how often had I, just before then, just bought something for myself? "I don't have any money to give to orphans and widows because I just spent all my money on myself." It sounds so ugly and selfish, so despicable, but it's exactly what happens. How can I possibly continue to love my stuff, my new clothes and bags and guitar and laptop and any other number of things, when I stare into the eyes of a small starving child on a picture and say, "Sorry, I don't have any money to help you. I just spent it all on myself."?


I've been making money from babysitting for something like 3 or 4 years now. For three or four years I have said no. Sure, I've tithed, and even gone above many, many times but almost every time a chance to go even further, to put in my precious coin (Mark 12:41-44), came,  I passed it by, saying I didn't have enough when really I did, having spent it all on myself.


This year, I say no more. This year, I've had enough of my sickening selfishness. This year, I have felt to give half of all my earnings after tithe to God in some way (i.e., a $10 paycheck would be split into $1 tithe, $4.50 for myself, $4.50 to God). Later on in life, I'll have bills to pay, and eventually a family to take care of, and I'll lose the opportunity to give this radically. It's unrealistic to think that a grown adult could give half their earnings away, unless their earnings were extremely high and living cost low. I'm taking this year to be completely crazy. I'm doing something most would call a little extreme. But that's okay. God deserves so much more than just 10% of my money.


Young people, I challenge you to live radically with your money. This isn't a guilt trip; all God requires of you is that you give 10%. However, I challenge you to be a little bit insane and waste you life at the feet of God. Later in life, you won't have the opportunity to give this much. So what are you going to do right now? 


Adults, I challenge you to find a way to give even more. Cancel the cable. Stop drinking coffee. Stop drinking soda. Stop eating out. Anything. The more crazy it sounds, the better. I challenge you to really value God above everything in your life. Once again, this isn't a guilt trip. God only requires 10%. But here's my question for you: do you want to be a little bit crazy for the cause of the Gospel?


I'm finished with my selfishness. Are you?

When God takes away everything

I recently told a friend via text, "God is taking away everything I think I need so I can realize that all  really need is Him." I didn't realize then how very true that would turn out to be. I said this because when I leave for Texas, I'm leaving everything behind. My entire life will change. I will not be around the same people, do the same things, or go the same places. I'm leaving all my friends. So many times I've gone to my friends for comfort or help or basically anything and they are always there. I've known all my closest friends for almost all my life. I can hardly remember not knowing them. I laugh so hard, and have so much fun with them. They've been with me all throughout my walk with the Lord, grown with me, and sat and listened while I babbled on and on and on and on and on about mission trips ("oh this one time in Australia...").Leaving my friends is a big deal. I'm leaving all my family. My family is a huge deal to me. I'm with them all day everyday. Literally. I don't go to school and then see them in the evenings. I'm hanging out with, talking with, and just living with them everyday, all day. They are some of my best friends. My brothers make me laugh more than almost anyone I know and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Leaving my family is a big deal. I'm leaving my church. I've been going to the same church my entire life, and my family would have to be practically dying for us to skip even one time. We're at church every single Sunday from about 7:30am to 1:30pm. It's a huge part of my life. Leaving my church is a big deal.






God is taking me to this internship across the country to disciple me and grow me, but He's also drawing me unto Him. He's literally taking away everything I think I need, and my only options are to turn and run away or dive into Him. Last Tuesday, I found out that what I had thought was everything, was not. My parents, through many tears, informed me that Cory and Ali Kent, the worship leaders at my church and the parents of one of the boys we babysit every day, have felt God's call to leave the church and move away. This means we will no longer have the privilege of babysitting little Graham anymore. We have babysat him for almost 2 1/2 years now, since he was 4 months old. We have seen him grow up, and he has become a part of our family. We love him so much, it's hard to express in mere words how painful it is to let him go. I thought I had given God everything, but when I heard that my little Grahammy was leaving, I found a small part of my heart that I had not yet given to God. I have to trust Him fully now, even more so than before, knowing that He know what He's doing. He really does. Almost 3 years ago when I held Graham for the first time, cradling his then tiny form, staring into infant perfection, God knew this day was coming. He knew that on January 7, 2014, I would be crying myself to sleep in a hotel room, heartbroken. I didn't know, but He did. He knew, and He had things happen the way they did, because He knows best. We as humans would try to save ourselves as much pain as possible, but He loves us too much for that.






I don't know God's full design. I don't know where He's going with all this. But He does, and that's all that matters. I love Graham fiercely, and I always will, but that part of my heart is now surrendered to Christ.




I think C.S. Lewis said it best:

It's doesn't matter if he goes to church

Something that has really bugged me in the church recently is that whenever we're addressing the single population, at least in the youth, we always emphasize "Does your boyfriend go to church?" "Don't be unequally yoked!" we say. "Before you get into a relationship, make sure he goes to church!" I'm gonna  break some new ground here and say: it doesn't matter if he goes to church.  Blasphemy! What? Yes, I really don't think it matters if he goes to church. Why? Because, just because he goes to church, that doesn't mean he has a relationship with The Lord. It doesn't mean he actually pursues God. He could have a "casual" relationship with God, being saved, but not caring to seek God or obey Him. 

It doesn't matter if he goes to church. Most likely, if he is pursuing God and seeking Him, he will go to church. But that is not the determining factor. I've met people who go to church whom I would never date. I've known people who don't go to church who are passionately pursuing God. Really, what matters, all you single people, is that the person is pursuing God. Here's a little check: are they pursuing and seeking God more than they are anything else in their life, even you? 

Whether or not someone should go to or not go to church is another discussion. I'm saying that just because someone goes to church, that doesn't mean they have a relationship with or are seeking God. 

Romans 2:13 

"For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God's sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous."

It's not an excuse

This post is for the ladies only! Trust me, guys, you really don't wanna hear this. :)

"If you are on your period, it's okay to be ill-mannered, grumpy, rude, lose self-control, lash out, etc." says no scripture, ever. Nowhere in the Bible is there a verse that gives permission for you to stop being Christ-like for any reason at all, ever. In fact, it says quite the opposite! "Whatever happens [even your period], conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the Gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the Gospel." Philippians 1:27 

I totally understand that hormones and chemical imbalances will happen regardless of our standing in Christ; we are women and that's what happens. But just because you feel grumpy and want to be rude and lash out, that doesn't mean you need to act on those desires. Christ has made you new and supernaturally given you overflowing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22) Being on your period is never an excuse. Ever. You have no reason not to practice self-control. Galatians 5:13 says, "You, my brothers [or sisters!:)], were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love." 

So next time you're on your period, make a conscious decision to practice self-control. Don't make petty excuses as to why you can't be nice and considerate and loving. You're so much better than that. We're daughters of the High King - princesses - and it's high time we started acting like it. 

There's gonna be a wedding

There's gonna be a wedding to which no other wedding could ever compare. The Lamb of Judah will marry His bride, the church, by a sea of glass, never to be parted by anything ever again. He longs and waits for His bride, for the wedding day; oh, how His heart aches for that day! His desire is to clothe her in white and marry her. It will be the most glorious union ever beheld; every beautiful wedding only a glimpse, a peek, at this magnificent day.

 He prepares us for this wedding every day. Think of this life as the manicure, the pedicure, the makeup job, the hair styling, and the gown fitting. He is constantly preparing us, the harlot He chose for Himself, to be His bride. He pleads with us to shower in His blood, to take off every filthy thing holding us back from Him; He tries to get us to take off our dirty, old, torn clothes to put on our gown of righteousness, but we love our sin. We won't get ready for that day; we love our dirtiness too much. We'd love to bathe and dress ourselves in His righteousness but the comfort of our broken-in ruts of unholiness hold us back, hesitant to take what is rightfully ours by the shedding of His blood. 

He cries out, "Be Holy! My bride, prepare for the day I long for so much! Turn away from your sin and run into my arms! Let me clothe you in righteousness! Be Holy!" 

People of God, get ready! There's gonna be a wedding. Prepare yourself, oh Bride of the Lamb, for your wedding day!