When I was in Mexico, I remember frequently thinking something along the lines of, "If only (fill in the blank), then I would be fine. Then it wouldn't be as hard; then I could stand it." But God continually reminded me that if it isn't one thing, it's another. For example: I would think, "If only the rain hadn't leaked into our tents! Then it wouldn't be so bad." But if that hadn't happened I would be saying, "If only it didn't rain and make the roads muddy and make it more cold than it already was." But if it hadn't rained I would be thinking, "If only it wasn't freezing cold." Or, "If only it wasn't so cold at night." Or, "If only there was more lights in the tent so my stuff wasn't all over the place." Or, "If only there were warm showers." Etc, etc, etc.; until I'm basically asking for a hotel room, perfect 75-degree-weather, and really easy ministry with no hassles.
I believe God purposely gives us more than we can handle so that we have to rely on Him to make it through. If this had been an easy mission trip; if it was warm and it didn't rain and our tents didn't leak and the tents had lights and there were warm showers and we didn't have to get up early and there were comfortable beds and there was real plumbing instead of port-a-potties, I wouldn't have had to depend on God to even get up in the morning. I wouldn't have had to beg Him for the strength to do ministry every day. He knows that He is all we really need and sometimes we need to be reminded of that.
I also remember having to repeat James 1:2-4 a lot. When an uncomfortable situation came up, I found myself saying, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds. For you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work in you so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
God knows what He's doing. He works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose, and He chooses to use us to glorify Himself. Sometimes bringing Him glory isn't easy or comfortable, but He won't bring us to anything that He won't bring us through.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Choose Your Hard
I saw a picture about weight loss on the internet the other day that said "Maintaining your weight is hard. Gaining weight is hard. Losing weight is hard. Choose your hard." As I was reading in Galatians the other day I was reminded that following Jesus is the same way. Following Him is hard. We have to give up our unGodly desires and die to ourselves. But leaving Him and following our own desires is hard too. It's not a hard decision to make; but the reprocussions are hard. We find ourselves distant from Him and we know that we aren't pleasing Him.
Galatians 5:16-17
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.
So that you do not do what you want. No matter which way you go, you aren't going to do what you want. If you do what you want Spiritually, you'll have to give up what your flesh wants. If you do what you want in your flesh, you'll have to give up what you want Spiritually. No matter which way you go, you aren't going to do what you want. But this world isn't our home. It wasn't meant to be comfortable. Either way it's going to be hard. Either way you're going to have to sacrifice. But only one way is worth the sacrifice. Choose your hard.
Romans 7:14-20
We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
Galatians 5:16-17
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.
So that you do not do what you want. No matter which way you go, you aren't going to do what you want. If you do what you want Spiritually, you'll have to give up what your flesh wants. If you do what you want in your flesh, you'll have to give up what you want Spiritually. No matter which way you go, you aren't going to do what you want. But this world isn't our home. It wasn't meant to be comfortable. Either way it's going to be hard. Either way you're going to have to sacrifice. But only one way is worth the sacrifice. Choose your hard.
Romans 7:14-20
We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Holy
In Mexico, during one of the nighttime sessions, they opened up the altar to the students to get prayer for anything. I went up and approached my team leader with the intention of asking her to pray for direction for this season of my life in which I feel has no purpose, because my heart is for missions. Obviously I can't up and move to a foriegn country right now, so these months between mission trips feel purposeless. But as I made my way up to the front, I decided to keep my mouth shut and let her pray for whatever God put in her heart. As she was praying, she told me that God told her to tell me to stop trying so hard to be Holy. That was His response to what I'm supposed to do right now. Stop trying so hard, and be still and know that He is God. Be still.
Sigh. How am I supposed to stop trying?? I have to try to be Holy, otherwise how am I going to get there?? As I came home and continued with my quiet times, I made a deliberate effort not to try. In other words, I tried not to try. Which actually makes no sense.
But this morning I was listening to music on my iPod, and the song Sit Enthroned by School of Worship came on. In the chorus, it says:
Sit enthroned upon my heart, with everything you are
Come live your life in me, reign supremely
I'm not just giving you my sin, but everything within
Come take control and make me Holy
"Come take control and make me Holy." Make me Holy. It hit me like a brick wall. DUH! I can't make myself Holy; only He can do that!!! That's the whole point of the Gospel!!! We couldn't do anything to make ourselves Holy, so He came and died to make a bridge betweeen heaven and earth, so He could make us Holy.
Nothing I say or do can ever make me more or less Holy. Nothing. That's up to Him.
Sigh. How am I supposed to stop trying?? I have to try to be Holy, otherwise how am I going to get there?? As I came home and continued with my quiet times, I made a deliberate effort not to try. In other words, I tried not to try. Which actually makes no sense.
But this morning I was listening to music on my iPod, and the song Sit Enthroned by School of Worship came on. In the chorus, it says:
Sit enthroned upon my heart, with everything you are
Come live your life in me, reign supremely
I'm not just giving you my sin, but everything within
Come take control and make me Holy
"Come take control and make me Holy." Make me Holy. It hit me like a brick wall. DUH! I can't make myself Holy; only He can do that!!! That's the whole point of the Gospel!!! We couldn't do anything to make ourselves Holy, so He came and died to make a bridge betweeen heaven and earth, so He could make us Holy.
Nothing I say or do can ever make me more or less Holy. Nothing. That's up to Him.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Lead Me to Your Heart
In Mexico during worship sessions, we would often sing the song Lead me to the Cross. At the bridge, it's a modification to the chorus, and instead of singing "Lead me to the Cross," we would sing "Lead me to Your Heart."
One day as we poured out our hearts with this song, as we got to the bridge, God revealed something I had already been kind of experiencing with all the coldness and wetness of the trip.
I think we sing "Lead me to Your Heart," with sort of an idea that His heart is a happy place where we will be safe from pain and uncomfortableness. But as we sang it that night He revealed to me:
God's heart is not a comfortable place. It is filled with pain and hurt, a longing for His people. His heart is broken for the people of the world, and in order for us to be there our hearts must be broken as well. His heart involves going out of our comfort zone to reach His people. His heart involves sleeping in tents in the freezing cold in the rain and the mud. His heart involves hugging filthy children and playing with them. His heart involves abandoning everything in order to reach the people He loves.
In Matthew 13 Jesus tells the parable of a man who found treasure in a field and sold everything he had in order to buy the field and get the treasure. This parable is used in Matthew as a description of what the kingdom of heaven is like, but I believe it applies to us and God's heart. God's heart is people. When we find His people hurting, He wants us to give up EVERYTHING in order to reach them. Didn't He do the same thing?
One day as we poured out our hearts with this song, as we got to the bridge, God revealed something I had already been kind of experiencing with all the coldness and wetness of the trip.
I think we sing "Lead me to Your Heart," with sort of an idea that His heart is a happy place where we will be safe from pain and uncomfortableness. But as we sang it that night He revealed to me:
God's heart is not a comfortable place. It is filled with pain and hurt, a longing for His people. His heart is broken for the people of the world, and in order for us to be there our hearts must be broken as well. His heart involves going out of our comfort zone to reach His people. His heart involves sleeping in tents in the freezing cold in the rain and the mud. His heart involves hugging filthy children and playing with them. His heart involves abandoning everything in order to reach the people He loves.
In Matthew 13 Jesus tells the parable of a man who found treasure in a field and sold everything he had in order to buy the field and get the treasure. This parable is used in Matthew as a description of what the kingdom of heaven is like, but I believe it applies to us and God's heart. God's heart is people. When we find His people hurting, He wants us to give up EVERYTHING in order to reach them. Didn't He do the same thing?
Monday, January 7, 2013
Mexico
For those of you who don't know, I just got back from being in Mexico for a week on a mission trip. It's hard to sum up this experience in one blog post. It's hard to even organize it in my head, but here goes.
My brothers and I went to Tijuana, Baja California, Mexico, with Global Expedtions to build houses for people in need, do Vacation Bible School, and do street ministry. This was my third mission trip, and my brothers' first.
In Australia, Jesus taught me how to view and live life in light of eternity. In Mexico, Jesus taught me how to suffer for the Gospel. This was the hardest mission trip I've been on. Some people who went with me said the same, and they had been to Panama for a month. It was cold. It was FREEZING. The worst was that it didn't get very warm during the day, so it felt like we never ever got warm. And it rained. It never rains in Baja. But it rained for 2 1/2 days. And our tent leaked.
But thank God for our fearless leaders, who reminded us of James 1:2-4, and reminded us that every single drop of water passed through the sovereign hand of God into our tent and luggage to grow us for His Glory. December 31 was an especially hard day, and by 7:45am I was ready to quit. The night before, I set out my clothes for the next day. It wasn't a coincidence that the shirt I picked out was a Global Expeditions shirt that said "They are worth it" Turned out that that day was one of the best ministry days.
They.are.worth.it.
One day, our leaders told us we could shower. We decided to, despite the fact that it was most certainly going to be cold. We walked into the shower house and there was steam in the air. The showers were hot.The.showers.were.hot. I think I even burned my scalp at one point. In retrospect, looking at it in writing on the computer screen, ot doesn't really look like it was that great. But I don't think that I've ever been more thankful for anything in my life. Ever. I think I said 'Thank You Jesus' about a thousand times during that shower. But later God convicted me and said, "It's fine for you to say you love me and are thankful when things are good and I bless you. But you still need to just as thankful and, yes, even more so when it's freezing cold and raining and when the mud is three inches deep."
So here's a few stories my ministry group saw happen. I'm sure that this is a tiny portion of what happened throughout all the teams and ministry groups.
It was the second-to-last ministry day, and our contractor who was in charge of the building of the house was gone. We weren't really sure where he went or when he was coming back, but we couldn't do any work on the house until he came back. We didn't want to just stand around until he came back, so we decided to split up into groups and do street ministry. We got a little ways down the street and started to pray in circles. My group had just got done praying when this man walked up to us (walked up to US!) and started talking to us about how he was a Catholic and had given up smoking and drinking, but hadn't ever accepted Jesus. He then proceded to ASK US how to recieve Jesus! God is faithful! He knew that this man would be walking home from the market at that time and that he needed to be saved. When we were frustrated because of the contractor being gone, He knew that we would end up going out on ministry.
One day when my group was out on ministry, we came across a woman who was on her way to work. We started talking to her and she began to explain that she was going through a hard time. She started to cry and say that her husband had left her and was with another woman. She was staying with her mother and her mother was nagging her to forget her husband and move on with her life. One of the ladies in my group had gone through a similar situation and her hand her husband had got back together and worked things out. God used her testimony to minister to the woman and she ended up becoming a Christian!
God is still showing me things and teaching me from my experience in Baja. I am beyond grateful to my supporters and God for sending me there, and I look forward to my next mission trip.
"How, then, can they believe in the one they have not called on? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent?" Romans 10:14-15
My brothers and I went to Tijuana, Baja California, Mexico, with Global Expedtions to build houses for people in need, do Vacation Bible School, and do street ministry. This was my third mission trip, and my brothers' first.
In Australia, Jesus taught me how to view and live life in light of eternity. In Mexico, Jesus taught me how to suffer for the Gospel. This was the hardest mission trip I've been on. Some people who went with me said the same, and they had been to Panama for a month. It was cold. It was FREEZING. The worst was that it didn't get very warm during the day, so it felt like we never ever got warm. And it rained. It never rains in Baja. But it rained for 2 1/2 days. And our tent leaked.
But thank God for our fearless leaders, who reminded us of James 1:2-4, and reminded us that every single drop of water passed through the sovereign hand of God into our tent and luggage to grow us for His Glory. December 31 was an especially hard day, and by 7:45am I was ready to quit. The night before, I set out my clothes for the next day. It wasn't a coincidence that the shirt I picked out was a Global Expeditions shirt that said "They are worth it" Turned out that that day was one of the best ministry days.
They.are.worth.it.
One day, our leaders told us we could shower. We decided to, despite the fact that it was most certainly going to be cold. We walked into the shower house and there was steam in the air. The showers were hot.The.showers.were.hot. I think I even burned my scalp at one point. In retrospect, looking at it in writing on the computer screen, ot doesn't really look like it was that great. But I don't think that I've ever been more thankful for anything in my life. Ever. I think I said 'Thank You Jesus' about a thousand times during that shower. But later God convicted me and said, "It's fine for you to say you love me and are thankful when things are good and I bless you. But you still need to just as thankful and, yes, even more so when it's freezing cold and raining and when the mud is three inches deep."
So here's a few stories my ministry group saw happen. I'm sure that this is a tiny portion of what happened throughout all the teams and ministry groups.
It was the second-to-last ministry day, and our contractor who was in charge of the building of the house was gone. We weren't really sure where he went or when he was coming back, but we couldn't do any work on the house until he came back. We didn't want to just stand around until he came back, so we decided to split up into groups and do street ministry. We got a little ways down the street and started to pray in circles. My group had just got done praying when this man walked up to us (walked up to US!) and started talking to us about how he was a Catholic and had given up smoking and drinking, but hadn't ever accepted Jesus. He then proceded to ASK US how to recieve Jesus! God is faithful! He knew that this man would be walking home from the market at that time and that he needed to be saved. When we were frustrated because of the contractor being gone, He knew that we would end up going out on ministry.
One day when my group was out on ministry, we came across a woman who was on her way to work. We started talking to her and she began to explain that she was going through a hard time. She started to cry and say that her husband had left her and was with another woman. She was staying with her mother and her mother was nagging her to forget her husband and move on with her life. One of the ladies in my group had gone through a similar situation and her hand her husband had got back together and worked things out. God used her testimony to minister to the woman and she ended up becoming a Christian!
God is still showing me things and teaching me from my experience in Baja. I am beyond grateful to my supporters and God for sending me there, and I look forward to my next mission trip.
"How, then, can they believe in the one they have not called on? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent?" Romans 10:14-15
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