Abstract art & complete trust

Tuesday night there was an enormous thunderstorm at about 3 in the morning, and the thunder and downpour of rain shook the whole house. Exodus 19:16-19 gives a picture of the glory of the Lord on the mountain and His infinite holiness and how the people trembled at the display of it all. I'm reminded that He is the same God today as He was then. I'm amazed at what Jesus's blood really did. In Exodus 19:10-13, it says how no one could even touch the mountain that the Lord had descended upon or they would have to die, and no one could even touch that person. In Chapter 20 verse 19, the people beg Moses to tell God not to speak to them, for hearing His voice would kill them.  We serve the same God today as they did then, but the cross enables us the hear His voice. How incredible is that? 2 Corinthians 3:12-13, 16 says, "Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to prevent the Israelites from seeing the end of what was passing away …whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away."

I think we often forget who we serve. Can the clay ask the potter what He's doing? We are often frustrated by what God chooses what to do, such as heal people or do wonders, but we would do well to remember Who God is. We are but clay in His hands. We have no right to ask what He's doing. He is good, and He is worthy of our trust.

I am the clay, and He is the Potter. I don't always understand what He's forming my life to be, but He can make my life into abstract life if He wants to as long as He's the one shaping it.

Despite Risk

To love someone is extremely risky.

 

I'm not even talking about romantic love. Of course it applies in the same way, but I'm talking about the kind of love Jesus referred to when He said, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." (John 13:34) To love someone like Jesus has loved you is not easy, safe, convenient, or pain-free. Jesus's love took Him to a cross to be tortured and killed, and even then His people have rejected and continue to reject Him. That's risky love. To love someone like Jesus has loved you means being willing to love that person no matter how they treat you, no matter if they completely reject you, no matter if they leave you. To love someone like Jesus has loved you means never requiring any love in return. To love someone like Jesus has loved you means to be willing to forgive that person of every single thing they might do to hurt you. To love someone like Jesus has loved you means never giving up on them, ever.

 

The love that Jesus requires us to have for one another sees the risk and it loves anyway. It acknowledges that you stand to lose everything and to be hurt intimately, and it loves anyway.

 

What does it look like to love like that? Ephesians 4:1-2 says, "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Romans 9:3-4 says, "For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my people, those of my own race, the people of Israel." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

 

When faced with an opportunity to love someone whom I know may reject me or may not be in my life for very long, I am tempted to hide myself away and choose not to love that person like I should. I want to give them a surface love, hiding away the deepest parts of myself and not really giving them the Christ-like love that bears all despite fear. Ephesians 5:15-16 says, "Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."  Every opportunity to love is a gift from God. We are Christ's ambassadors on earth (2 Cor. 5:20), and we are responsible for loving people like He does. I believe we will be held accountable for every squandered opportunity (see the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30; see also Revelation 20:12). We are only given a small amount of time on this earth, and some relationships are even shorter than that. Psalm 90:12 says, "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." I think sometimes God makes us painfully aware how little time we have with people so that we will make the most of every opportunity to love them. When we are faced with a reminder of the shortness of our days or the amount of time we have with people, there are two ways that we can respond: by throwing walls up around our hearts to keep them from being hurt, or to open them up completely and love with all we have in the amount of time that we have. I have had to face this concerning my housemates here. Some of us are staying for 6 months (leaving in August), and some are staying for the full year (leaving in December). We aren't 100% certain who's leaving when, and my heart wants to throw up walls to protect myself from intimately loving people who might leave halfway through the year. But God is teaching me to love anyways. To love despite the risk of being hurt, of being rejected, of being left. Because love is always worth it.

How never to be content again

There's a loose sting on the end of my jeans, and I've been meaning to cut it off for at least a week now.

 

This is an insanely simple, yet accurate description of how crazy busy my life is.  I am an extremely disciplined person, and my housemates would laugh at how much of an understatement that is. I make lists of lists of lists, and checking things off of said lists is like crack to me. This to say, it's not because of airheadedness that I haven't cut that little string off of my jeans. Frankly, it's because I don’t have any time. I feel like every second of every day is filled with something. And being in full-time ministry is exhausting in every way: mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. However, I want you to know that being a missionary is, in some ways, just as mundane as any other career path (if being a missionary counts as a career path). I go grocery shopping every Monday. I do my laundry on Wednesdays. Once a week I make dinner for our whole intern "family." Our weekly schedule looks more or less the same every week.

 

There is mundane in every career path.

 

It is easy, even living in South Africa, to lose yourself in the routine of everyday life.  It's easy to wake up on a normal Wednesday, go to Diepsloot extension 12, recite some rehearsed lines about God and the Bible all day, probably hang out and wash clothes with some people along the way, load up at about 4:30, go home, do my laundry, eat dinner, do homework, and go to bed. Every Wednesday. Over and over and over.

I have to ask God every day to make me excited about ministry. I have to ask Him to keep my heart open and learning and sensitive to the Holy Spirit. I have to ask Him to keep me from becoming hard, each day just trying to make it to the time when we load up and go home.

 

Here's the point I'm trying to make:

Your life is NO different than mine.

 

Sure, you probably don’t live in a foreign country. Ministry probably isn’t considered your main occupation. You probably don't find yourself eating mopani worms, ostrich, or zebra, or washing someone's clothes by hand in a squatter camp on a normal day. But the contents of your day do not determine what you can do with that day. I can say with confidence that you have every opportunity to share the Gospel and/or God's love in your day that I do in mine.  You're a stay at home mom? Cool. Did you know that you are the main source for the message of the Gospel to your kids? Did you know that the way you raise them can set them on a path that will glorify God or turn away from Him? Did you know that your kids were born with a sin nature, and that your influence will likely be the one that leads them to Christ?? That sounds pretty missionary-ish to me. You work in an office? Awesome. Did you know you could be the only representation of Jesus some of your co-workers experience on a daily basis? Did you know that you have the ability to show them the love of Jesus?? Did you know that your influence can reverse all the bad experiences they may or may not have had with the church? Did you know that if you are intentional, you can be the vessel God uses to change someone's life and turn their hearts toward Him? That sounds pretty missionary-ish to me.

 

Please, please, please, if you get NOTHING ELSE out of this blog post, please understand that the great commission is not an option, and it's not meant for a special elite group of people called missionaries. It's meant for you, specifically. There are people who, every day that they live, are marching towards the gates of hell unless someone throws themselves in their way and gives everything they are to stop them. And yes, though the majority of people who haven't heard the Gospel are outside of the United States (or even South Africa for that matter), God has placed you where you are, and until He calls you elsewhere, you have the responsibility to lead people to Christ where you are.  I wish I could reach through my keyboard across continents to your heart right now and make you feel the absolute desperation in my heart.

 

Know this: God's love is fiercely jealous, and He is pursuing every soul that isn’t following Him. He wants desperately to give you His heart for the lost. Sometimes this whole thing is overwhelming. Sometimes it feels like there are so many unreached and unbelievers that we could never reach everyone. Sometimes it feels like there isn't even enough love and passion for the lost to go around. But just do this, and see if God does not give you a burden for the lost: ask Him. That's it. Ask Him to give you a heart for the lost.

But receive this warning: if you ask, He will give it to you, and you will NEVER be content to just sit around and wait for people to die and go to hell anymore. The passion He gives you won't allow it.