In view of eternity

I've played violin for almost 6 years now, so I've gotten to playing music that is very hard and complicated such as Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Vivaldi, etc. When I'm learning a new song, most of the time, several times throughout the song, there's a group of notes or a transition from one set of notes to another that I don't understand at all. It's not that I can't read the notes; I know what they say perfectly well. It's that I can't understand how the song is supposed to sound. A lot of times that group of notes or transition sounds terrible. When I'm struggling to get through the song while practicing, I get to the note and I don't want to play it because it doesn't sound right to me.

But when, eventually (usually not for some months later), I get to the point where I've finally learned the whole song and can play it through pretty well. It's then, when I can hear the whole song played together, that I understand that group of notes or transition. On its own, it made no sense to me. But in view of the whole song, it makes for a part of the song that is unique and really actually sets apart the okay composers from the great composers. 

I think in life we come across situations and changes that we don't understand in the same way. It makes no sense at all why someone in our family has to die, or go through a sickness, or be separated from family or whatever the situation is. As long as we're looking at the situation just in contrast to the season of life that were in right now, it won't make sense. But one day, we're going to see everything. We're going to see how God planned everything to fit His perfect will and used situations that seemed to be completely pointless to bring Him glory.

Doubt

"Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!'

Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him. 'You of little faith,' he said, 'why did you doubt?'"  (Matthew 14:29-31) 

Here's the thing about this situation. When Peter saw the waves and became afraid and began to doubt, he started to sink. To us it is quite obvious the reason for his sinking: he started to doubt. He was afraid, and in the moment, he didn't trust that Jesus would keep him afloat. 

But today I was reading this passage and it occurred to me that in the situation, Peter probably thought the reason he was sinking was because of the wind and waves. After all, he sees the wind, and immediately starts to sink. So he probably thought that the reason he was sinking was because of his situation/surroundings, not because he doubted. 

How many times do we think this in our everyday lives? Life gets us into so many situations where we cry out, "Lord, save me!" But when we get to that point of being overwhelmed, where we cry out to him because we think we're going to drown, what if the reason were about to drown is because of unbelief? Yes, obviously the troubles are there whether we believe on Christ to keep us afloat or not, but whether we start to drown under them is up to us.

God's Love

God loves you. 

What a cliché statement! It is so utterly overused that I feel it has lost almost all meaning in today's society. You see it and hear it everywhere. 

It is so often connected with Jesus's death on the cross that I have found, even in my own life, that His love for me appears to be an action by itself. We emphasize love being an action, and neglect the fact that it is also and just as much so, an emotion. 

When people say "Jesus loves you so much that He died for you!" it registers with me subconsciously not that He feels moved by me, not that He desires to be with me so much that He would do anything to be with me, not that He is blessed by my presence, not that I am more precious to Him than anything else in creation, but that He simply practiced an action which was habitual to Him because of who He is. When people say He loves me I think that He does stuff for me. 

But think of this: marriage was designed to imitate and create a picture of our relationship with Christ. So think of a man who is utterly, insatiably, in love. Think of how he gazes at his wife and loves everything about her. He knows the little, tiny, insignificant facts about her and is crazy about them for no other reason than that he loves her. He knows her little quirks and smiles at them. He sees her little habits and chuckles at how cute they are. He looks at her and just purely loves. He loves her. No strings attached. He just loves her. That's all. For everything; despite everything.

That's a very small, unsatisfactory, inadequate allegory of how Christ loves us. He is moved by us. He longs for our presence. He sees the tiny, insignificant little facts about our personalities and smiles because He created us like that.  

Knowing this changes the way we view ourselves in relation to sin and guilt and shame and grace. For example, I miss my quiet times often. I feel guilt and shame, subconsciously thinking that God is disappointed in me. But in view of the way God loves me, I know that He is not disappointed but in fact just longing to be with me. That is all. We can view grace differently in view of this because then we know that He forgives and pardons us not just because He is good and gracious, but also and just as much so because He loves us so much He wants to look past our sins just to be with us. 

I got a revelation of all this today as I was cleaning my room while listening to classical music. I had discovered a book on my shelf in the middle of putting something away and got distracted and sat on the floor and started reading it. There I was, in my pajamas on my floor reading a book while in the middle of cleaning my room. And listening to classical music. And Jesus said, "I love that. I love how you just randomly sit in the middle of your floor and read even though you're busy doing something else. I love that you listen to classical music even though no one else does. I love how you love to read so much that you'll read more than one book at a time. I love your insatiable curiosity. I made you like that. I love you." 

Woah.

How different and more beautiful is His love than what we think it to be! 

I love you, Jesus.

High Places and Idols

God is very obviously speaking to me a lot about idols. Today, actually, the sermon at church and a book I'm reading and my Bible reading all harmoniously worked together. 

Pastor John talked about leaving a legacy of faith, and how we are to live today in order that our children and grandchildren would see our example and follow. He really challenged us to leave a Hebrews 11-type legacy.

The book I'm reading right now is called Gods at War by Kyle Idleman. He talks in this book about things in every person's life that have become idols that we worship in place of God. 

Right now in my Bible reading part of what I'm reading is in first and second kings. To be completely honest, these books can be a little bit boring at times. But I noticed that there are 3 different types of kings in the Kings books:

1.) Ones who did evil in the eyes of The Lord. An example is Jehoahaz: "In the twenty-third year of Joash son of Ahaziah king of Judah, Jehoahaz son of Jehu became king of Israel in Samaria, and he reigned seventeen years. He did evil in the eyes of The Lord by following the sins of Jeroboam son of Nebat, which he had caused Israel to commit, and he did not turn away from them." (2 Kings 13:1-2)

2.) Ones who did right in the eyes of The Lord. An example is Hezekiah: "in the third year of Hoshea son of Eleah king of Israel, Hezekiah son of Ahaz king if Judah began to reign. He did what was right in the eyes of The Lord, just as his father David had done." (2Kings 18:1,3)

3.) Ones who did right in the eyes of The Lord, but the high places were not removed. An example is Azariah: "In the twenty-seventh year of Jeroboam king of Israel, Azariah son of Amaziah king of Judah began to reign. He did right in the eyes of The Lord, just as his fathe Amaziah had done. The high places, however, were not removed, and the people continued to offer sacrifices and burn insence there."  (2Kings 15:1,3-4)

So I have this challenge for you: What idols do you have in your life? What do you talk about most, think about most, complain about most, what upsets you most? 

Once you've identified the idols, it will be hard to give them up. After all, you love them, otherwise they wouldn't be idols. So this is my question: What kind if legacy are you leaving? If we were to end up in some ancient record, what would it say about you?  Would it say, "____ did what was evil in the eyes of The Lord."? Would it say, "_____ did what was right in the eyes of The Lord, but they did not remove the high places, and they continued to offer sacrifices and burn insence there."? Or will you leave a legacy of faith, a legacy that everyone who knows you can look up to? It's up to you.