Holy

In Mexico, during one of the nighttime sessions, they opened up the altar to the students to get prayer for anything. I went up and approached my team leader with the intention of asking her to pray for direction for this season of my life in which I feel has no purpose, because my heart is for missions. Obviously I can't up and move to a foriegn country right now, so these months between mission trips feel purposeless. But as I made my way up to the front, I decided to keep my mouth shut and let her pray for whatever God put in her heart.  As she was praying, she told me that God told her to tell me to stop trying so hard to be Holy. That was His response to what I'm supposed to do right now.  Stop trying so hard, and be still and know that He is God. Be still.

Sigh. How am I supposed to stop trying?? I have to try to be Holy, otherwise how am I going to get there?? As I came home and continued with my quiet times, I made a deliberate effort not to try. In other words, I tried not to try. Which actually makes no sense.
But this morning I was listening to music on my iPod, and the song Sit Enthroned by School of Worship came on. In the chorus, it says:

Sit enthroned upon my heart, with everything you are
Come live your life in me, reign supremely
I'm not just giving you my sin, but everything within
Come take control and make me Holy

"Come take control and make me Holy." Make me Holy. It hit me like a brick wall. DUH! I can't make myself Holy; only He can do that!!! That's the whole point of the Gospel!!! We couldn't do anything to make ourselves Holy, so He came and died to make a bridge betweeen heaven and earth, so He could make us Holy.

Nothing I say or do can ever make me more or less Holy. Nothing. That's up to Him.