It's something that I'm trying to overcome without downplaying the importance of spending time with Him. I have to try and wrap my head around the concept of a God who is forgiving me every single second. Who would forget my sins immediately after they happen. All He wants is to be in perfect communion with me. So forget the last mistake and start here, He says. Here, now, is all that exists.
He doesn't collectively sigh every time I make a mistake. He never thinks, she failed. I was hoping this time she would get it right. Looking back, it sounds preposterous for a God who knows everything about us, all of our dark hearts and all of our nature, to expect us not to fail. But I realize now that I actually believed it.
If I broke the rule, God was disappointed in me. He was desperately hoping I would actually make it this time.
I believed this!!! One day He wrote me this:
Faith,
I know you're not perfect and I don't expect you to be. I know you're going to fail sometimes. But now that you're here, I just want you to pursue Me like nothing ever happened. All is forgiven. I have already forgotten, so can we move on now?
Love,
Jehovah
He doesn't expect us to be perfect. He understands. And it's not a rule. If we skip a day, He's right there waiting.
I love this. I struggle with this a lot, too, but I struggle with the shame. I'll go to pray for someone or something, and I'll think "I haven't touched my Bible all day. I haven't even thought about God in how long. What right do I have to be asking Him for favors when I have done nothing for Him recently?" And I sort of trail off in the midst of my prayer. My favorite part of this is "Forget that last mistake and start here. Here, now, is all that exists." Because this is the truth, sister. God does not care how long it's been since I have spoken to Him, He cares only that I am speaking to Him NOW. I'm a little late, but thanks for this. I needed it.
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