Recently I have been struggling to connect with God in my quiet times, and I have been wondering why it's been so hard to feel close to Him and just enjoy Him and worship Him for who He is. I have persisted, but it's frustrating to eel far away when I want so badly to be close to Him.
Today the veil was lifted and I feel closer to Him than I have in a while. I saw suddenly very clearly that I had been coming to Him with an anticipation of His disappointment. I came with the intention of trying to appease Him, trying to earn His love, to give Him something in order to earn His love. Today He tore away the wall and said:
My beautiful and invaluable Daughter,
I love you so much.
Stop coming to me with apprehension; I'm not disappointed in you, and I don't expect anything from you. My heart aches just to be with you. When you come to me, I will N E V E R reject you or examine you and find you not good enough.
My Blood covers you. All I see is my perfect handiwork.
I love you more than mere words could ever say.
The greatest love you have ever felt for anyone is but a speck of sand next to the sun of my love.
I. love. you.
What more is there to say? I am so full of love. Abba, I am amazed at You.
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