"You are worth it."

I'm leaving for Texas in August to go to the Honor Academy for a full year, and it is slowly becoming more real to me. I'm beginning to experience "lasts": My last year of volleyball, last year of school, last year of co-op, etc. I continually find myself looking forward and seeing all the things I'm not going to be doing anymore; all the things I'm leaving behind.

I often think of all my friends that I'm leaving behind; every time I'm with them, it's always at the back of my mind that this is another countdown: I only have so many times left with them before I leave. As I go through my days, hanging out with my brothers and helping take care of the two little boys we babysit everyday, I am always reminded that I don't have much time left; that soon there will be a day when I don't get to be around my two brothers, two of my very best friends, all day every day anymore. Every time I babysit Brennan and McKenna, the two awesome kids I babysit on  regular basis, I know that the time is precious, that there's only so much left before I leave.

I know that even though I'll only be at the Honor Academy for a year, God will be taking somewhere else after it. I'm not called to stay in Lafayette for the rest of my life; I know that for a fact. When I leave in August, it will have a finality that sometimes, I don't feel ready for at all. Sometimes, I just cry. I cry out to God, telling Him that I'm not ready for this yet. I can't just leave; I'm too young! How could I leave all these beautiful people that I love so very much? My heart cries in agony, knowing that I will miss them in a way I've never missed anyone before.

But God has called me; of this I am certain. He's called me to surrender, and follow Him no matter the cost. I've decided to follow Jesus, no turning back. And every time I get sad, every time my heart cries out that it's too soon, that I haven't had enough time, I say to Him, "You are worth it."