Distracted.

I never wake up in the morning and think to myself, "I'm not going to spend time alone with God today. I don't feel like it. There's a lot of other things that I'd rather do." I don't wake up with the intention of crossing my quiet time off my to-do list in favor of anything that might strike my fancy as the day goes on. But it happens. It's true for every single Christian, ever. Everyone, at some point or another, chooses the world over God; chooses doing whatever we want instead of choosing Him. 

How does it happen? I fall into bed at night, angry at myself for letting it happen again, promising myself it won't happen tomorrow. It won't! But what happens? I do it again. The next night I chastise myself and cry and despair and make a million promises I can't keep. "Why?" I ask myself. Why do I constantly choose not to spend time with Him? 

Here's the answer: because I'm always intending to get around to it, eventually. You see, Satan doesn't have to come and try to get me not to do my quiet time. He doesn't have to try to make me cross it off my list completely; he doesn't have to convince me it's not worth my time. He only has to distract me. That's it. He doesn't even have to try to make me sin! It could be anything. A lot of times for me it's in the morning when he throws the load of school I have for the day in my face, insisting it's urgent enough that I have to do it before my quiet time. Then I remember I'm reading this awesome book and maybe I could read a few chapters before lunch... I couldn't fit my quiet time between now and lunch anyways. And then I remember I need to shower because we're going somewhere later; better do that. Then I remember tomorrow is violin lesson and I haven't practiced at all this week; I probably should before my lesson. Mmm, I'm feeling lazy now and Netflix is calling to me with its sweet, seductively time-wasting promise of brain-dead pleasure. Oh darn, now we have to go somewhere! When I get back, I inevitably feel a little unsettled since I'm an introvert, so I need some tea and a book and maybe some knitting to relax, then I'll do my quiet time before bed. But this book is so enthralling, and before I know it, it's ten till midnight and I'm mad at myself for letting time get away from me and staying up this late. I have to get to bed immediately or I won't get up till ten tomorrow! 

And then this is the part where I get angry at myself for not doing my quiet time. I cannot even express in words how often the day described above is more or less, my average day. That's exactly how it happens. 

So what's the solution? How do I dedicate my whole heart to God and devote myself to Him? I have to strive to make Him a priority. He has to be at the top of my list, sitting on the throne of my busy day, and absolutely nothing can be allowed to dethrone Him for any reason at all. He has to come before everything, literally. I have to wake up and praise Him and read His word first thing, or it'll never happen. I have to set rules for myself. I have to say, "Faith, you cannot read, cannot do school, cannot watch Netflix, cannot get on Pinterest (the other time-wasting king), cannot knit, cannot do anything, until you get on your knees and seek Him. 

Nothing is more important.