When God takes away everything

I recently told a friend via text, "God is taking away everything I think I need so I can realize that all  really need is Him." I didn't realize then how very true that would turn out to be. I said this because when I leave for Texas, I'm leaving everything behind. My entire life will change. I will not be around the same people, do the same things, or go the same places. I'm leaving all my friends. So many times I've gone to my friends for comfort or help or basically anything and they are always there. I've known all my closest friends for almost all my life. I can hardly remember not knowing them. I laugh so hard, and have so much fun with them. They've been with me all throughout my walk with the Lord, grown with me, and sat and listened while I babbled on and on and on and on and on about mission trips ("oh this one time in Australia...").Leaving my friends is a big deal. I'm leaving all my family. My family is a huge deal to me. I'm with them all day everyday. Literally. I don't go to school and then see them in the evenings. I'm hanging out with, talking with, and just living with them everyday, all day. They are some of my best friends. My brothers make me laugh more than almost anyone I know and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Leaving my family is a big deal. I'm leaving my church. I've been going to the same church my entire life, and my family would have to be practically dying for us to skip even one time. We're at church every single Sunday from about 7:30am to 1:30pm. It's a huge part of my life. Leaving my church is a big deal.






God is taking me to this internship across the country to disciple me and grow me, but He's also drawing me unto Him. He's literally taking away everything I think I need, and my only options are to turn and run away or dive into Him. Last Tuesday, I found out that what I had thought was everything, was not. My parents, through many tears, informed me that Cory and Ali Kent, the worship leaders at my church and the parents of one of the boys we babysit every day, have felt God's call to leave the church and move away. This means we will no longer have the privilege of babysitting little Graham anymore. We have babysat him for almost 2 1/2 years now, since he was 4 months old. We have seen him grow up, and he has become a part of our family. We love him so much, it's hard to express in mere words how painful it is to let him go. I thought I had given God everything, but when I heard that my little Grahammy was leaving, I found a small part of my heart that I had not yet given to God. I have to trust Him fully now, even more so than before, knowing that He know what He's doing. He really does. Almost 3 years ago when I held Graham for the first time, cradling his then tiny form, staring into infant perfection, God knew this day was coming. He knew that on January 7, 2014, I would be crying myself to sleep in a hotel room, heartbroken. I didn't know, but He did. He knew, and He had things happen the way they did, because He knows best. We as humans would try to save ourselves as much pain as possible, but He loves us too much for that.






I don't know God's full design. I don't know where He's going with all this. But He does, and that's all that matters. I love Graham fiercely, and I always will, but that part of my heart is now surrendered to Christ.




I think C.S. Lewis said it best: